Reply to messages like a functioning human being

Why this rule exists

Gather close, for this technique is so devastating that lesser daters cannot bring themselves to use it: text back. Within a reasonable time. Like you are pleased to hear from them. There exists a whole folk mythology insisting you must wait a strategic eternity, match their word count with a stopwatch, and never seem too keen, as though enthusiasm were a leak to be plugged. It is nonsense, and worse, it is boring. Replying warmly and roughly promptly is not desperate; it is the behaviour of an adult who has their phone and likes the person on the other end of it. The games are designed to manufacture anxiety, and anxiety has never once made anybody more charming.

In practice

When you get a message and you have a moment, answer it in a way that keeps the door open: react to what they said, add something of your own, and ask a small question so there is somewhere to go next. You do not have to reply mid-sentence at a funeral, and 'I'll answer properly tonight' is a perfectly good holding note. Match effort roughly rather than mathematically, and let your texts sound like your actual voice rather than a brand account. The aim is a conversation that feels easy, not a chess match nobody enjoys and everybody pretends to be winning.

Example

Them: had a lovely time, would love to see you again
You: [waits 3 days, per 'the rules']
You: hey
(the spark, sensing strategy, quietly leaves)

Them: had a lovely time, would love to see you again
You: me too, genuinely. free Thursday?
Them: Thursday works
(no games, everyone relaxed)

When it doesn't apply

Promptness is a kindness, not a leash; you are allowed a life, sleep, and stretches where your phone is in another room. And if someone punishes an unanswered hour with sulking or a barrage, that is useful information about them, not a verdict on you.