Opening the book…
Consistency is what makes you legible to other people, and legibility is what makes you trustworthy. If your warmth is a performance for audiences, it costs energy to maintain and it curdles the moment someone catches the seam. A single self is also cheaper to run: you stop tracking which version you gave to whom.
Speak to the person clearing the table the way you speak to the person who could hire you. When you catch yourself adjusting your voice, your opinions, or your generosity because the room got bigger, adjust back. Notice what you do with a spare unobserved hour — that's the actual you, and it's the thing to work on.
Register is not character. Being more formal in a courtroom than at a kitchen table isn't inconsistency, and you're allowed to keep private things private without being a different person about them.